Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Hyperactive Statism: It's the Balls
Big government out of control:

RICHMOND, Va. - It's one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia.

State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.

Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250.
The Virginia General Assembly has some experience with offbeat bills. Three years ago, it drew widespread attention with an unsuccessful effort to outlaw baggy pants worn so low they expose underwear.

Spruill, 61, said the indignity of the "droopy drawers" debate wouldn't deter him. He said he won't hesitate to bring a set of $24.95 trailer testicles with him for a legislative show-and-tell.

"I'm going to do it," Spruill told a handful of reporters after Tuesday's House session adjourned. "I'm going to bring them out here and show them to you till they tell me to stop."

The hell of it is that he actually does have a point... sort of. The last time I was in Florida, for spring training two years ago, I was driving and saw this:

I started laughing so hard I almost crashed. The humor value more than makes up for the risk, I think.


Chris said...

I actually saw this, for the first time, last week. I just thought 'what a moron'. Who the hell would even put this on their car? How many people are doing it 'ironically' in a hipster fashion, and how many people think it's actually cool?

David said...

Would I put it on my car? No.

Did I laugh when I saw it, and do I still find it funny today? Yes and yes.

(Am I proud of this? Not really, no.)

I don't find it ironic or cool, maybe surreal--as in, "what the hell are those plastic balls doing there?"

The Navigator said...

Would this mean that Mr. Bidet ("for a clean and happy tush!") would have to paint over all signs visible from a public roadway? Or at least visible on I-95 a little ways north of downtown Miami.

The Navigator said...

Hmmm... couldn't find my Mr. Bidet shot uploaded. Most dramatic Florida sign I could find was for Charles Bronson, FL Commissioner of Agriculture. But that was on a gas pump.

David said...

I was going to post the Bronson picture (also on a gas pump) but thought it was too small.

I don't think we passed Mr. Bidet on that last trip. Nor Dr. Faatz.

Brian said...

This has been around for years. What's next? Ban the labels of Calvin peeing on a Chevy logo? Some truckers tend to be a tad obnoxious, no need to take away their means of expression or else they'll start voting or something.

Paul said...

If charged, I'd make the argument that they aren't necessarily human genitalia.